"Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you....For I am the Lord, your God...." Isaiah 43:1-3

Wednesday, 27 January 2010

sick of being homesick

and I see it all now.

wide streets with trees and flowers (ok, maybe not right now in winter, but in general..), clean trains and buses with real tickets, big room with actual ceiling and comfly bed, fridge full of food, handful of Maltesers right next to my laptop which is constantly pluged in, hot showers, flushing toilets, washing machines,...

and as I see all this, I keep wondering why did I miss it so much...
I did like the narrow dusty roads with corn-fields around them, matatus full of people with no tickets and apparently no limits, small room which I shared with Sabrina, my top bunk with no noticable materess, three poor meals a day, electricity from solar panels, bucket "showers" every 4 days, toilets...well, with no actual toilet at all, brush and a bit of soap to wash our clothes... I didn´t just liked it, I LOVED it. like I said

I LOVE my

Amazing

Frustrating

Ridicculous

Incredible

Colorful

Africa




I didn´t miss our "civilised" way of life. I didn´t miss our delicious meals eaten on the go, somewhere between catching a bus and finishing homework, I didn´t miss our smileless streets and people with no identity who pretend that no one else exists, I didn´t miss this...

I just missed my family, I missed my mom, and every second I was there I wished she would have come with me, she´d be such a wonderful mom for all my kids. I missed daddy, if he came with me every moment of every day would be brighter and every single one of my kids would love him so much, as he is the sweetest daddy a kid can wish for. I missed my sis, she´d heve loved it there, playing with all my kiddos and helping me to put them to bed. I missed my family, because I knew how fortunate I am to have one, I missed my family and at the same time I felt sick about having one, when my kids don´t have parents, I felt sick of missing my home, while my own kids there didn´t have any.


I wanted to go back and just hug my mom and daddy and talk to my sis and never let them go, because I knew my kids will never get a chance to do that again. I missed my family which was always with me, I missed my family, how unfair this is.



all I want now is to go back, hug my kids, hold them close to my heard and rock them all night in my lap and let them cry, and let them smile...as it´s the only thing I can do for them.

AND YOU! HEY LISTEN TO ME! GO AND HUG YOUR MOM, DADDY, KIDS, WHOEVER YOU LOVE! JUST GO RIGHT NOW AND TELL THEM HOW MUCH YOU LOVE THEM BECAUSE THEY DESERVE TO KNOW :)

4 comments:

Wife to the Rockstar said...

Love your blog and your heart!

Anonymous said...

Greetings,

I have a question for the webmaster/admin here at living-big.blogspot.com.

May I use part of the information from your post right above if I give a backlink back to your website?

Thanks,
John

Jarka said...

hey, John :)

I would need to know exactly which part of the post you want to use and what is it for?

-if you want to post it on the internet could you give me a link? of send me your e-mail address (in a comment - I will NOT publish it here, I promise) and we can communicate that way?


:)
Jarka

Chris Hewitt said...

Hi there.
Glad you enjoyed yourself there, My daughter spent 3 months there in 2009, I joined her for a week then and we both went back for a week last year with my other daughter and planted the bananna patch in behind the kitchen and in front of the animal pens.
Loved every minute of it. Kids are great and I still sponsor two of them.

Chris